by Matt Barr

Anthem

"Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe," wrote Douglas Adams in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is said to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leaped straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.

Then there's the FDA Centennial Anthem.

One century past, a people’s hope fulfilled
By an act conceived for safe medicine and food
Protecting rights that our founding fathers willed
To life and liberty, to happiness pursued.

We honor those who carried on before
O’er these hundred years, public safety to secure
For food, vaccines, drugs, devices, blood and more
They strove to see these goods effective, safe, and pure.

In field and lab, in workplace far and near
From both civilian and commissioned corps
A call goes forth in this centennial year
That this rich heritage continue evermore.

Now in this proud hour, a vibrant vision thrives
True to our mission, whate’er the challenge be
With science our guide, we rededicate our lives
To help create a future healthy, safe, and free.

In case you missed the party today celebrating the FDA's centennial. (Via Hit & Run)

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