by Matt Barr

If you were this guy's lawyer, would you get him off?

Man busted for masturbating in a Cleveland public library. (Via Radley Balko.) Indeed, it's a crime, and if he'd done it anywhere near one of my kids I'd beat him to within an inch of his life. But it started to go from covering-your-face-funny to eyebrow-askew are-you-sure? when you saw that his bail was set at five hundred. Thousand. Dollars.

Deadspin put that figure in context and, in an update to the same link, reported that "[i]n a moment of sanity, the bond was reduced to $500, and Cooper has been released." Good.

Yes, this post was mainly an excuse to use the title.

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